I am so sorry for being lax in my updates on the Queen Simply Be blog. If I said that not only have I recently become single again, spent two weeks in Australia, moved house and been ten days without Broadband (and not daring to up or download anything that wasn't strictly necessary) would you forgive me?

As this is a weight and body image related blog, I thought I would talk a bit about something personal to me for a change. Like a lot of people, especially women, as my personal life started to disintegrate badly over the summer, in more ways than one, it affected how I was with food and eating. My weight stopped being important - even though I was body image positive before anyway, I'd still had the wobbles every now and again. Funnily enough, just as my worries and thoughts about being single again in my mid (Oh OK, late)thirties started to bite, the fat thoughts disappeared. Would I find anyone who liked me for who and what I am, despite being chubby? You know, who cares? If someone doesn't love me for who I am rather than the dress size I wear, surely they aren't worth it?

Anyway, I stopped worrying about eating and concentrated on sorting my life, work and new flat out....and completely lost my appetite. For the first time since I can remember, I had to remind myself to eat, in fact on a lot of occasions I had to make myself eat because I just couldn't be bothered otherwise. And yes, the weight has been falling off me - I only know this because my curious mum encouraged me to weigh myself, and the results elicited a "bloody hell!"

But it didn't make me feel better about being single or worse that I weigh what I do. It was and is just a number to me. In fact, since I did that, and reported back to an impressed mother, I've had no desire to do it again. I did get my appetite back on holiday, but I thought to myself "I don't have to prove anything to anyone" and what happens to my weight happens. I've naturally started following the Food Philosophy ideals of eating abso-bloody-lutely anything I want, and enjoying it. If I'm not enjoying my grilled chicken and veg, I'm not going to force it down just because it's good for me. And if I fancy pizza - and having moved perilously close to a Pizza Hut that takes online orders for delivery - I will have it. So there. I had left over dessert for lunch and breakfast the other day. So what? I don't have to cook for anyone else now, it doesn't matter if they've had a hard day at work and want feeding. If I want a sandwich for dinner, I'll have one. And if I have PMT and feel light headed and rubbish and want a pizza blowout, the same applies.

As for my body image, well I can't deny I haven't thought life would be easier in the future, relationship wise, if I were a couple of sizes smaller. But I did the newly single thing and bought some new clothes and underwear to cheer me up recently (mainly because I was amazed at the selection of really cute bras in M&S and Debenhams right now...what an improvement...) and as I was trying them on I thought "I hope I don't lose too much weight, too fast, or else all this stuff will be too big for me!"

Well, I have to save pennies, don't I?

So there you have it. It's just how the whole upheaval of the last few months has affected me, it probably affects some other women differently. But it's onwards and upwards for me now...repeating my mantra of 'Relentlessly Positive" I will get back to you and let you know how things progress....But remember Fat girls ARE fab too!!!!