Queen Simply Be

We all want to feel sexy, and the good news is that we all can be...it's all a matter of attitude and self confidence. More than one person has told me (and this is from men as well as women) recently that the media hype about fat people is a lot of drivel, women can be just as gorgeous if they are well padded as if they are skinny. It really is all about walking into a room, and being YOU.

But there are a few things you can do to enhance that inner poise, and the brilliant Nancy Hayssen has compiled a top ten list of her own feel sexy tips if you're looking for a little boost in that department. And the best thing - none of them involve eating nothing but celery for a week, drinking slimming tea, expensive 'inch-loss wraps' or wearing 'slimming colours' - enjoy the tips I've posted here, and e sure to visit Nancy's site for the rest...

1. Make the Most of Your Shape

Do your clothes fit your body type, and are you feeling confident and sexy in what you are wearing? Keep in mind that sexy clothes can even be conservative, as long as you feel your best and carry yourself with poise!

Accessories such as sexy heels, eye-catching belts, trendy sunglasses or that perfect Little Black Dress can make your night perfect before you even head out the door. Don't be afraid to take bold risks with your style; stand out in a crowd!

2. Be Confident

Are you standing up straight and looking people in the eyes? When you hold yourself with high regard, others cannot help but take notice and treat you with that same respect and interest. For a moment, imagine how you come across to stranger at a party:

Are you friendly and interesting? Do you look angry and unapproachable? Are you hiding in a corner, avoiding any contact at all? While being confident may not come naturally, it is a skill we all can develop.  Use mantras such as "You are sexy!" repeated in your mind until you believe them. You'll be amazed at just how quickly you are convinced it is true!

3.  Relish in Some R & R

Have you had enough rest at night, and are you planning a vacation or spa day soon? Remember that the time you invest in yourself is time well spent, as you renew your energy and build your confidence to move ahead in life!

Even a simple bubble bath can be a relief after a hectic day, and that much-deserved time alone is priceless. While family and work are certainly important, you can only feel 100% sure of yourself when you are energized.

Save up your pennies if you have to in order to afford a day of relaxation away from all the stressors of your daily life... you will not regret spending the money on yourself!

4.  Lighten Up!

Can you lighten the mood in an instant? Do you always have a story to share? One of the personality traits most often admired is confidence in awkward situations.  The grace it takes to get a conversation going, the patience that is needed to endure a boring talk and the creativity required to get people to enjoy their surroundings: these are all qualities to be working towards.

When you can bring lighthearted fun into a situation, your confidence becomes key. Before you enter a social situation, keep in mind that your own sexy self esteem may be just the element needed to get everyone else in their own best mood. Don't underestimate your powerful gift!

5.  Have a Sexy Mantra

Have you repeated your sexy mantra to yourself daily? Do you look in the mirror and remind yourself of just how sexy you really are? Be your own biggest fan, and others will follow. Know that you are sexy, desirable and interesting, and do not be afraid to remind yourself of that each day.

Say to yourself "I am a sexy woman" over and over again.

You will begin to believe it soon enough! Always remember to carry yourself with an air of sexy confidence and never, ever talk yourself down from that high. Begin today and you will thank yourself tomorrow!

Nancy's website...

I am so sorry for being lax in my updates on the Queen Simply Be blog. If I said that not only have I recently become single again, spent two weeks in Australia, moved house and been ten days without Broadband (and not daring to up or download anything that wasn't strictly necessary) would you forgive me?

As this is a weight and body image related blog, I thought I would talk a bit about something personal to me for a change. Like a lot of people, especially women, as my personal life started to disintegrate badly over the summer, in more ways than one, it affected how I was with food and eating. My weight stopped being important - even though I was body image positive before anyway, I'd still had the wobbles every now and again. Funnily enough, just as my worries and thoughts about being single again in my mid (Oh OK, late)thirties started to bite, the fat thoughts disappeared. Would I find anyone who liked me for who and what I am, despite being chubby? You know, who cares? If someone doesn't love me for who I am rather than the dress size I wear, surely they aren't worth it?

Anyway, I stopped worrying about eating and concentrated on sorting my life, work and new flat out....and completely lost my appetite. For the first time since I can remember, I had to remind myself to eat, in fact on a lot of occasions I had to make myself eat because I just couldn't be bothered otherwise. And yes, the weight has been falling off me - I only know this because my curious mum encouraged me to weigh myself, and the results elicited a "bloody hell!"

But it didn't make me feel better about being single or worse that I weigh what I do. It was and is just a number to me. In fact, since I did that, and reported back to an impressed mother, I've had no desire to do it again. I did get my appetite back on holiday, but I thought to myself "I don't have to prove anything to anyone" and what happens to my weight happens. I've naturally started following the Food Philosophy ideals of eating abso-bloody-lutely anything I want, and enjoying it. If I'm not enjoying my grilled chicken and veg, I'm not going to force it down just because it's good for me. And if I fancy pizza - and having moved perilously close to a Pizza Hut that takes online orders for delivery - I will have it. So there. I had left over dessert for lunch and breakfast the other day. So what? I don't have to cook for anyone else now, it doesn't matter if they've had a hard day at work and want feeding. If I want a sandwich for dinner, I'll have one. And if I have PMT and feel light headed and rubbish and want a pizza blowout, the same applies.

As for my body image, well I can't deny I haven't thought life would be easier in the future, relationship wise, if I were a couple of sizes smaller. But I did the newly single thing and bought some new clothes and underwear to cheer me up recently (mainly because I was amazed at the selection of really cute bras in M&S and Debenhams right now...what an improvement...) and as I was trying them on I thought "I hope I don't lose too much weight, too fast, or else all this stuff will be too big for me!"

Well, I have to save pennies, don't I?

So there you have it. It's just how the whole upheaval of the last few months has affected me, it probably affects some other women differently. But it's onwards and upwards for me now...repeating my mantra of 'Relentlessly Positive" I will get back to you and let you know how things progress....But remember Fat girls ARE fab too!!!!