You know what, even people who extol the virtues of self acceptance have fat days. The fat day seems to have become synonymous with feeling totally crap about yourself, a bit like a more permanent version of a bad hair day I suppose. At least you can go into a hairdresser and get your bad hair sorted out in an hour or so...when you are blessed with an hourglass figure where all the sand has sunk to the bottom, it can be stressful even thinking of how you're ever going to really practice 'self-acceptance' in a world that seems determined to hate you simply for your size, and because you are everything they are scared of becoming, and make you hate yourself at the same time.
It's like people think that a hefty dose of self loathing is all that's needed to sort out the obesity epidemic. We can all see how that works - if the number of women in this country who hate themselves because they don't fit the acceptable weight range of a so-called attractive women were positively spurred on by hurtful remarks, headlines and not being able to fit into nice clothes, we'd all be size ten by now. Hey, that was a very long sentence, wasn't it?
I think I'm just feeling miserable because I'm ill again. Because I tried to start my walking routine this week ready for Race for Life, managed around 10,000 steps for a couple of days in a row, and then came down with the lurgy. Because my jeans feel tight. Because I got some old photos out at the weekend and was horrified at how much I've changed, aged and expanded since the 90s. Because I'm getting older. Because I'm writing like a demon at the moment and people aren't paying me so I am going to run out of money soon. And because I post things about a gorgeous size 16 teenage beauty contest winner and smug arseholes think it's their God-given divine right to slag her off for being fat...and oh, because even on this blog, I get people posting about fat people being lazy and size 16 women needing to shift a few pounds.
And you know what? Stuff the 'fatosphere' - the stupid blogger's term for people who blog about fat acceptance (I don't accept my fat, I just live with it most of the time) I don't think things will ever change. With TV shows like 'diets that time forgot' showing that people were following stupid, dangerous and unappetising diets as far back as Victorian times, what hope is there that things will ever change?
