So, you want to stop overeating but you really love your food - you use it to celebrate, to comfort, to show how much you love people...what are you going to do if food loses it's appeal?

Sue Thomason looks at why breaking free from overeating makes you appreciate life...and food...more.

Emma Thompson has stepped in to protest about an up-and-coming British actress, of seemingly perfect proportions, being required by an American film company to lose weight for her next role. Hayley Atwell may be the latest muse of Woody Allen, starring in his new film Cassandra's Dream, but she didn't measure up for Miramax Films, who are behind the big-screen remake of Brideshead Revisited.

Having been cast as Julia Flyte, the gilded scion of an aristocratic family played in the original TV series by Diana Quick, the 25-year-old Londoner was asked to shed a few pounds.

Thompson, who appears in the remake as Lady Marchmain (opposite Michael Gambon in the old Laurence Olivier role as Lord Marchmain), learned of Atwell's predicament when she invited her to dinner at her home.

Hayley says:

"I went round to Emma's one night and she was getting very angry that I wasn't eating all the food she was giving me. I told her why and she hit the roof."

Emma was justifiably so outraged that a perfactly normal weight actress was being forced to lose  weight  that she got straight on the phone to the producers the next day and threatened to resign from the film if they forced Hayley to lose weight. Faced with the formidable Ms Thompson - a two-times Oscar winner - on the warpath, Miramax Films swiftly relented.

Good on you, Em!

I've had a fantastic response to the Daily Mirror article, and my *fame* is spreading with approaches from TV and magazines wanting to talk to me about my 'positive outlook'. I have to confess that I've turned most of these opportunities down, because I feel as if by being associated with the burgeoning 'Fat Acceptance' movement, I'm aligning myself with a cause that I'm not 100% a part of. I'm into 'people' acceptance - being fat isn't something most people would choose to be, but I don't see why anyone should be slated purely because they don't fit into the media accepatbility mould.

My take is that you should make the best of what you are - be happy, healthy, fit...and if you're also big, well so be it. If you choose to try and lose weight, do it in a positive way and don't get onto the whole diet treadmill. Just be nice to yourself. If you don't even like yourself, where's your motivation to be the best you can be? So there.

If you haven't seen the article, here it is.

Firstly, I think I should make the point that I didn't say this:

"Anorexics make themselves thin but they'd never be denied health care. I think being a compulsive eater and non-eater are different ends of the same spectrum. Both make the sufferers ill, both are psychological and both deserve help and sympathy."

I was really worried that what I said would be taken out of context, and it has been edited to make me look really unsympathetic to people with eating disorders. What I was trying to say was that compulsive eaters and anorexic people are both making themself ill through their eating habits, but that complulsive eaters - who are usually fat - don't get any sympathy because they are seen as greedy - whereas anorexics are pitied because they are starving themselves. Both conditions are driven by the media, are psychological, and both deserve help...but fat people just get vilified and told to go on a diet.

It sounds much better in my own words!!! That's part of the reason I decided not to do this sort of interview again. I'm all too aware that when you do, you're really leaving it up to an editor to be as sympathetic/sensationalist as possible...your words are in their hands!

I'd also like to say that I was quite shocked at what Sara actually said in her interview. Marnie, the writer assured me that she did say all those things, even though she was sweet and friendly to my face at the shoot, and agreed with me when I said that you don't have to be thin to be fit or healthy. The most telling thing about the interview was that she admits to being unfit even though she wasn't  overweight, until she 'had a word with herself' and employed a personal trainer to give her the motivation she admits that she didn't have. So it's not only fatties that need to motivate themselves, then?

As for people having a few training sessions to "make the beach look nicer" - words would have failed me if I hadn't realised that she runs a personal training company! Hmmm. Not trying to plug her business or anything then?

The Mirror stuck me next to a model, ten years younger than me, and five sizes smaller. They *forgot* to send a make up artist (she had all hers with her) and left us both waiting for an hour and a half because they got the times wrong. And still, I think I came out of it looking better...!

Some of the comments I've had:

"...the other woman was very full of herself. Don't worry, her day will come - she is obviously very proud of herself and what do they say about pride? Anyway, well done."

"You certainly came across better in that interview than the other girl does. Her closing comment of 'The beach would look nicer, too.' is just catty and pathetic"

"I am so glad that you say, and I believe you,  that you are happy indeed with yourself being who you are. This is a difficult achievement for anyone and it happens rarely!  My mum is obese but I truly believe she loves herself much more than most people that I know. She insist that she need a big body because her heart is too big! "

Thanks, everyone!

I've mentioned Next before for their elitist policy of producing clothes in sizes up to a size 22 - but rarely putting anything above an 18 out on the shop floor...they want the fat pound but they don't want the fat people in the shops spending it, scaring off the slim people (because that's going to happen...)

Now they are even targetting their own employees with their fat phobia! The above, charming leaflet has been distributed to staff in some Next shops. Women staff have been kindly advised to avoid tight-fitting clothes, and excessively baggy tops and dresses, which 'could make them look bigger'. At least they aren't sexist - they don't like fat men either! Male employees are advised to wear bright shirts and ties to take attention away from their "love handles" and use pinstripes to make the chubsters look taller and slimmer...

Read the article here

Susan Ring, Chief Executive of Eating Disorder charity Beat told the Daily Mail:

 "What Next is saying here is that it wants the people who work in its stores to look as slim as possible so that the customers see the clothes on the staff and want to buy them.  Stylists should be trying to show people the best ways to show off their figure and not imply that everyone has to conform to this skinny image.

"The company is entitled to expect people in its stores to dress smartly and with a certain amount of style. After all, it is selling clothes. But I don't agree with extending this to telling staff they must dress along these set guidelines. If you are the type of person who needs magic knickers this style guide might add to your insecurities."

Next have since backtracked, claiming that the leaflet was meant as 'magazine style fashion tips' and apologised. If it wasn't for the fact that they are one of the very few places where you can actually get clothes in a 20/22 (even if not in the shops) I'd be boycotting them...but that might be considered cutting off my nose to spite my pudgy little face.

I'm speechless really. But I'd like to tell Next what to do with their Magic bloody Knickers. Have you ever tried to wear control underwear all day? It's uncomfortable, and I don't care what the packaging says. They'd rather have people walking around in hideous loud shirts or control pants that restrict breathing (and definitely eating) than have fat people on show to the customers. That's just unbelievable...

If this isn't the most fabulous reason to stop worrying about your weight, and start living, I don't know what is.

A US study that looked at the impact of desired body weight on the number of unhealthy days subjects report over one month, researchers at Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health found that the desire to weigh less was a more accurate predictor of physically and mentally unhealthy days, than body mass index (BMI). In addition, the desire to lose weight was more predictive of unhealthy days among Whites than among African-Americans or Hispanics, and among women than among men.

So there you have it. Stressing about your weight and wishing you were a size zero actually make you ill.

Read the full article here

After taking into account the subjects' age and actual BMI the researchers found that men who wanted to lose weight had a maximum of almost three unhealthy days per month than those who were happy with their weight. In women, the maximum increase in sick days was 4.3. 'Unhealthy' covered mental and physical health - so stress and depression as well as physical illness.

People who were  happy with their weight experienced fewer unhealthy days than the people who were fed up and trying to lose it.

"Our data suggest that some of the obesity epidemic may be partially attributable to social constructs that surround ideal body types," said Peter Muennig, MD, MPH, Mailman School of Public Health assistant professor of Health Policy and Management. "Younger persons, whites, and women are disproportionately affected by negative body image concerns, and these groups unduly suffer from BMI-associated morbidity and mortality."

"Our findings confirmed that there was a positive relationship between a person's actual weight and his or her desired weight and health, be it physical or mental," observed Dr. Muennig.

Th study talked about the fact that discrimination against heavy people is hard to avoid, and the constant media drip feeding of thin is in and 'the obesity epidemic' are leading to a negative body image that also may serve as a source of chronic stress.

"The data add support to our hypothesis that the psychological stress that accompanies a negative body image explains some of the morbidity commonly associated with being obese. Our finding that the desire to lose weight was a much stronger predictor of unhealthy days than was BMI further suggests that perceived difference plays a greater role in generating disease," said Dr. Muennig.

The paper, "I Think Therefore I Am: Perceived Ideal Weight as a Determinant of Health," will be published in the March issue of the American Journal of Public Health.

I had the photo shoot at the Mirror last week...and don't ever let anyone tell you that being a model for a day will be glamorous! I arrived at an industrial estate on Canary Wharf, and the shoot took place in a large warehouse. I met Sara, the other girl interviewed for the piece, and I was pleased to find that rather than the completely anti-fat  'militant' that I had been led to expect, I found a really lovely girl who was petite and pretty but certainly not anrti-anyone...she was just pro-fitness and health and beleves that anyone can be fit and healthy if they find something they enjoy doing.

It was just as well that we got on, as the Mirror had got their timings all wrong and we had to sit for an hour and a half before we had any pictures taken! The stylist, Candy, was a sweetie but I was dismayed to see she'd gone to Evans for the outfits for me. I guess when you are a size eight or so yourself you don't think there are any shops other than Evans that sell clothes for big women. She presented me with a pair of hideous black 'office' trousers and a top which was slightly better, topped off with black tights and the highest heels I have ever worn.

Awkward? You don't know the meaning of the word. Being a freelance stylist, she'd bought all the clothes herself and so we had to leave the labels on. The label on the trousers was at the front and digging into my tummy - the trousers were inordinately tight on my thighs. Candy said they were 'figure hugging' and it looked great.

Typically, Sara was styled in a pretty dress, also in heels. I felt like I was dressed for a day at the office. But I gritted my teeth and smiled. Oh, and because of the mix up, neither of the two make up and hair people turned up so I did the shoot with just-combed hair and barely any make up on. If I look pale, you can blame the fact I had a stinking cold and was wearing 'natural' make up!

I can't complain about the people who did the shoot, they were all lovely. Marnie, who interviewed me, was lovely too. The article will be appearing in the next couple of weeks and I'm quite looking forward to seeing how it's done. I will confess to having felt incredibly physically uncomfortable all through the shoot due to the clothes I was put in, but I blame Evans rubbish tailoring/cut for that. Watch this space!

....Sue Thomason!

Sue spent 20 years as a journalist on national newspapers and women’s magazines, such as Now, Woman, Cosmopolitan, Woman’s Own, Woman’s Realm, Mizz, Essentials, Bella, Best, Chat, The Daily Telegraph and more. She has been a scriptwriter, a film maker and a broadcaster for ITN. She is now a motivation coach and she spends her working day helping people to set themselves free from the overeating trap by teaching The Food Philosophy online.  Now she has agreed to be my resident expert, both here and on Relentlessly Positive. If there's anything you want to ask Sue, just post me a message and I'll pass it on...

She knows everything there is to know about the psychology of overeating and she can read your mind...

How can I believe I am attractive...when I'm fat?

"After years of yo-yoing weight and no control over what I eat, I’ve given up on dieting. I’m trying to embrace my size and accept myself the way I am but I do struggle with believing that people can be attracted to fat people. During one of my temporary thin periods I went on dates with a dozen different men and they all would tell me how beautiful I was. I never get that response when I’m fat – I find it hard to get dates at all. And if I can be totally honest, I’m not attracted to really heavy men either so I can’t blame guys for what they find attractive in women. Can I really ever believe that I’m beautiful when everyone else thinks I’m not?"

Katherine, 31, Durham

Sue Says...

"Yes, you certainly can. All you have to do is try looking out of a different window. Have a think about it and ask yourself if it could be possible that you don’t get dates now because of the way you feel about yourself and not because of the way you look. There are plenty of large women who have no trouble finding men – men who worship the ground they walk on. The difference between them and you is that these women believe that they’re beautiful themselves and so other people see what they project.

"Barbara Streisand, for example, might not have been big but she didn’t fit the media ideal. She was often described as both an ugly duckling and the most beautiful woman in the world. She said: “Go figure that!” But she didn’t care. She knew who she was and she didn’t need anyone else’s opinion.

Beauty has very little to do with the size and shape of someone’s body or whether their nose is big or their teeth crooked. It comes from inside.

As for you not finding big men attractive, everyone's taste is different. Can you see that your attraction is individual and nothing to do with a media image? Men like all different types of women and this isn't just based on looks. In fact, men don't have a choice when it comes to who they find attractive. Neither do you.

"Men can override their natural attraction to a woman and pretend they aren't attracted to her if she doesn't fit what he thinks he SHOULD find attractive. In other words if he really fancies a gorgeous confident big girl but thinks his own image would be threatened by being seen with her, he might always reject her so that he can be seen with skinny model types. But would you want to go out with a man like this? Thankfully, there are millions of men above this kind of unattractive insecurity who are more in touch with their natural instincts.

"There are of course a percentage of men who are naturally attracted to skinny model types, but they are by the laws of nature only a percentage.

"And just think how awful for skinny model types this is. It's a bit like being rich. She'll never know if a man is with her because he's addicted to the approval of his friends or because he's really attracted to her. She'll never know if he's looking at her through his own eyes. She will always be aware that she could just be the equivalent of a flash car.

"Women who don't fit the media ideal can be sure that they are loved for who they are. It's a big advantage, don't take it for granted."

Well, the Wright Stuff was a bit of a let down and I'm quite glad I didn't go now. The segment was entitled, "Can you be fat and happy?" to which a segue to the adverts added:

True or false - Thin people are less likely to suffer from depression than thin people.

To start with, what a daft question. It's like saying that black people are less likely than white people to suffer from chickenpox. There are probably statistics out there on the number of cases of chickenpox and it's just as likely that black people suffer from it as white people BUT statistics can prove anything, It's playing with numbers. And yes, the answer is that statistically, fat people are less depressed than thin. Or maybe they just don't admit that they are feeling depressed to their GP in case they get told to go on a diet...again!

Anyway, we got into the segment and Matthew Wright started scoffing at the notion that anyone who is fat could possibly be happy...and then, with no trace of irony, he started to talk about the stereotype of 'jolly fat people." That wouldn't be a blatant contradiction, would it?

We were introduced to Donna, a vivacious, gorgeous big woman who clearly wasn't apologetic for her size, and claimed to be very happy, thank you very much. Would she take a magic pill to get to a size ten? No, she wouldn't, she said, that would just make her like everyone else.

Then we saw Vicki, an attractive blonde who had lost four stones and now was much happier "because I can buy clothes anywhere and don't have to go into plus size shops." Admittedly, plus size clothes shopping is a bitch, but to base your entire notion of happiness on it seems a bit extreme. How did she achieve her weight loss?

Slimming pills.

What a great advert for healthy living THAT was, then. And do you know the most alarming thing? She said that she still wasn't happy with herself completely and would need to lose another stone and a half to manage that.

So....we have a 16 stone smiley, gorgeous woman who is having a whale of a time...and a woman who's entire self esteem is based around losing another 21 pounds and wearing clothes that aren't from plus size shops. Who sounds happier to you?

Then, everyone's favourite disordered eater, Anne Diamond, got her two-pennorth in and started whittling about self esteem and wanting to be thinner *for me*...yada yada...this is a woman who clearly hates herself so much that she lied about having gastric surgery before going on Celebrity Fat Club! It's bad enough to do either, but both?

So, apart from a bit of fluffy psychobabble from a psychologist who was also big and happy...and a few interjections from Matthew Wright - that was all there was too it. And the only positive thing about the whole thing was that a friend of mine seems to have developed a girl-crush on the big girl, Donna

The latest issue of Just as Beautiful is out and proud this week - and if you haven't already subscribed to the free magazine dedicated to Big, gorgeous women, then what are wou waiting for? Subscribe here

• Read about British television star, Tina Malone
• Read the exclusive interview with the Winner of Miss Plus America Elite, Jenna Vaught;
• Top hair colour tips from Award-Winning Anita Cox, Twice British Colourist of The Year
• Check out page 13 - Bah Hubug to New Year Resolutions...by yours truly!
• Find out how to take on 2008 with less stress than you deemed possible;
• Get the latest on UK BBW trends;
• Find out How to be Britain's next plus size top model...
• Find what the government is missing, and doesn't see in the Great Weight Debate
• Are you big and proud? Can you represent what you believe in? Then Sky TV would like to hear from you. Find out how to apply inside our latest issue!

Set your TV planners for 9:30 on Channel Five tommorrow, as Matthew Wright - The Wright Stuff - will be interviewing one of the vivacious and intelligent writers from Just as Beautiful, and talking about the magazine, it's aims and why we need a decent, well-written, professional mainstream publication that caters for women of Rubenesque proportions and makes us feel good...I was due to be going on the show with him, but I have a horrible snotty cold and so I gratefully declined. It's bad enough having my photo taken for the Mirror with a red runny nose, but the constant sniffles wouldn't sound great on live TV!

Have you ever noticed that all the mainstream women's magazines seem to be dedicated to making us not feel good enough? Seducing even the size ten beauties among us into believing that we should be a bit smaller, a bit less spotty, have a more fashionable handbag, wear better (more expensive) clothes...well, Just as Beautiful bucks this alarming and frankly depressing trend by uplifting its core audience with features about how great they are. It's not about telling women that it's perfectly aceptable not to give a stuff about their diet, weight, looks or exercise...but it's about the opposite - taking care of ourselves, and accepting that we are, well, Just as Beautiful!

Well, naturally, being the vociferous and opinionated person I am, I would say that the relentless negativity surrounding weight and size DOES affect people in a bad way...and I wrote a feature for the March Edition of Slim at Home magazine which goes into the subject in more detail.

It's also something I discussed in my interview for Mirror Woman this week, and which I hope will be published soon. I have to get up to London this week to have my picture taken, and I'm hoping that my sexy new haircut, winning smile and big blue eyes will detract from the fact that they are going to make me have my photo done with a skinny woman who doesn't like fat people!

Anyway, if you get a chance to sneak a read of the Slim at Home article, it's on sale now...let me know what you think! I had to interview the most obnoxious anti-fat person I've ever spoken to for this article, so remember that when you read it...the things I have to go through...