...Sally Anne Voak - who has been writing diet books for decades. For that reason, It's kind of surprising that she holds the people who made her so rich in such contempt.

She says in the Daily Mail  that people who lose weight on diets always sem to put it back on again. Oh, really? I wonder why that could be. Perhaps the fact that Voak has authored 28 diet books should tell you something. If the whole premise of a diet (eat what I tell you to and you'll lose weight) worked on a permanent basis, she wouldn't need to pen 28 versions of the message "Don't eat so much, fatso!"

She starts by talking about a past slimming competition winner who lost over 11 stone. What an achievement! Sally Anne drives down to see her, expecting a 'neat size 12 frame' and is horrified to find her protege is in fact 'a bloated creature'

"She looked truly awful, dressed in mansized tracksuit bottoms (which I am sure belonged to her boyfriend) and a great big floppy jumper which failed to conceal her sagging breasts and stomach.  I must have looked shocked, because she smiled and said: "I've put on a little bit of weight."

She honestly didn't realise just how big she had become - I could tell at a glance that she was around 7st heavier than when we had last met."

Nice.

She didn't realise how big she'd become? Not too patronising there. The article gets worse. She describes her distress at walking down the high street and seeing:

"young women in their 20s with their stomachs sticking out of their trousers, eating burgers, and middle aged women with ankles spilling over their shoes shuffling painfully along."

She also says, and I quote directly here:

"In all my years of helping overweight people to slim, I have never met a happy fat person.  There is no such thing - nobody likes looking in the mirror and seeing a fat body."

Tell that to all of the people I know who no longer beat themselves up just because they aren't a standard size ten, Miss 'Evangelical' Voak! Apparently this woman has helped 15,000 people to diet during her career, and written loads of useless diet books which quite obviously don't work because if they did she wouldn't be in the Daily Mail whining about it. Unless she wanted to flog her forthcoming novel...now, wouldn't that be a coincedence? 

Sally Ann would hate this website - she doesn't agree with big women being catered for - apparently we should all dress in shapeless sacks (presumably so that we turn to another of her diet books in desperation because we have nothing to wear.)

"...as bigger becomes more acceptable (look at the fashions available now for fat women) then people will continue to get fatter and fatter, and our struggling health service will face a real crisis."

Do you know what would be good? Not that I'm advocating spam e-mailing a poor defenceless diet author who's worried that her core market will stop buying her books if they let go of the self-loathing she obviously wants to encourage....Sally Anne Voak writes for The Sun, and has been berating recalcitrant dieters in that paper for years. Their e-mail is:

health@the-sun.co.uk

I suggest you let them know what you think!

The fashion world waits with baited breath for the arrival of Roberto Cavalli's collection for H&M.

Roberto has designed for Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce, so he should know how to cope with sumptuous curves. What's more, the basic H&M range does hit the dizzy heights of a size 20, so you might be able to work it like you're on the red carpet in one of his signature pieces.

The range will consist of 25 pieces for women, including accessories. It's due to be rolled out to 200 selected H&M stores on November 8, so prepare to see innovative use of colour, embellishment - and long queues.

The bad news?

Well, not only could I not bring you any images (H&M won't let anyone other than their accredited journalists use them) but they don't have an online store, and they have absolutely no information on their website about the Big is Beautiful range. It's as if they want to cater for the plus size market but have absolutely no inclination to actually mention them anywhere. I did find one press release dating back to 2000 when I googled 'H&M Big is Beautiful' and one cursory mention on the sizing guide:

"Big Is Beautiful have sizes that are generally more generous in fitting."

Well, ya don't say. And you also don't say what the sizes are! So, sorry H&M - you'll just have to sit in the corner with a dunce's hat on and a sign around your neck saying, "Must try harder."

The key  silhouette for Autum/Winter, according to Vogue, is the hourglass. Now, I often say that I have an hourglass figure but that my sand appears to have sunk to the bottom. I've said it so much that it isn't actually remotely amusing any more, but what can you do if you are blessed with marauding flesh that will not be 'cinched in' by one of this season's dinky malinky little belts, but you actually quite fancy looking a bit stylish and accentuating your shape rather than hiding it under layers of tunic?

Well, it is possible with a bit of clever web-surfing, and a bit of cash, to replicate the hourglass shape. Even if your hourglass (and mine) may be fuller than this miserable looking model in her Marco Madeira suit. What's with the hair, by the way?

So that's the *look* - and with the help of our style-savvy comrades at the wonderful Oli.com, I've managed to track down a couple of designer alternatives.

First, a Maria Grachvogel nipped-in jacket, which has an absolutely fantastic shape, and is available in up to a size 20. Wear it with the cute little Jasmine Guinness pencil skirt, and you can give any of the skinny models a run for their money and sashay with pride...even if it is into the office rather than down the catwalk!
 

I have to confess to being really pleased when I flicked through Grazia to check out their shoe special (I love shoes. It doesn't matter what my dress size is - a pair of size six shoes always fits)

I'm so on-trend that it hurts. And if you could only see me now, sat here in my jeans and a t-shirt, you might actually find that hard to believe. I treated myself to a pair of funky Mary-Janes last week, and a pair of cooler-than-cool stiletto-heeled brogues a few weeks before. And last year I *acquired* a pair of damn sexy Jimmy Choo faux snakeskin strappy works of art.

Grazia has half page spreads this week on reptile (luxury)  Mary Janes (serious sex appeal) and heeled brogues (sexy schoolmarm) Ha! Take that! I am not dead from the neck-down, style wise, just because I can't get away with a Top Shop size 12...

Grazia is actually pretty good this week. Apart from a feature on someone losing weight on Weightwatchers (yawn) anyway. Nigella admits to being addicted to internet shopping and loving food more than fashion (she admits that the super power she would most like is to be able to "eat everything, forever, without putting on any weight" - atta girl!)

I'd love to know why it is that when Nigella makes her minute steak and bean mash, she still looks fragrant and unfrazzled afterwards, and her kitchen is spotless. When I tried it, I killed the kitchen completely and had to run round it with Cif before I could relax...

Do we really NEED Heat Magazine anymore? Or do you, like me, think it's past it's early noughties celeb-baiting, wittiness and turned into a hormonally challenged teenage girl of a magazine, all bitching and finger pointing? Look, I know she's not a fat bird and doesn't really belong on a blog about loving yourself if you are...but hell, when I went to pick up my Grazia (guilty pleasure, sorry) poor old Posh was plastered all over the front of this week's Heat, with lurid photos and headlines about her 'trout pout'and 'wonky nipples'

ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Look, I'm neither a great admirer or a huge critic of Mrs Beckham, but I really hate Heat. Sorry, but I do. Posh has issues. She's trying hard to fit into LA while pouting around in a green kermit-like Marc Jacobs creation that's been nicknamed 'The Ninja Turtle'. She looks uncomfortable, and she's trying very very hard to fit in. Yes, she is all style and little substance but she's harmless. Why is it that the media insists on pulling the poor girl to bits and kicking her in her skinny ass when she's quite clearly very down indeed?

A cursory glance at the Heatworld website reveals more gems - a comparison between Britney's and Jennifer Ellison's weaves (there's a surefire target, Britney Spears is possibly about as down as she's going to get right now and another celeb who really should just take herself off somewhere quiet for a few months and chill) Natalie Cassidy's lost a bit of weight (yawn) and the piece de resistance - "Who wants to watch Gwen Stefani fall over on stage?" 

Heat Magazine. The magazine equivalent of happy slapping...

That sounds like a sexual position, doesn't it?  But it's actually a great idea for a holiday if you're bikini-phobic...more info from Siobhan McGeady...

For some women the thought of baring all in a two piece bikini or even shopping for suitable beachwear attire can be a stressful experience. ‘Bikinius-minutius’ is a common design flaw heavily influenced by those who consider the entire female population to be a clone of Kate Moss – and as such many of us finish the shopping expedition empty handed and disillusioned.

Disaster on the retail front can also signal an end to any thoughts of basking in sunnier climes and compel all those above a size 12 to conquer the latest fad in crash dieting.  But not us! Before we give up hope of warmer weather, blue skies, and a suntan it’s worth considering a holiday at home on the range; a non-bikini-centric holiday that moves the focus towards adventure and activity. 

More Zen-girl than cowgirl, the modern day guest or resort ranch is an opportunity not only to ride, but to lavish yourself in a sumptuous environment which exudes exclusivity and indulgence.  Far removed from the traditional working ranch, wannabe cowgirls can do more than just round up cattle; try a high ropes course; mountain biking or trail riding for starters. 

Ranching has recently been described as more of a holistic holiday with spas becoming popular additions to ranch stays.  Many ranches now offer aromatherapy sessions, traditional Thai treatments, Yoga, and even massage therapies that are matched to the guests particular adventure activity. 

These sensuous remedies round off the ranch experience; ensuring cowgirls are feeling fab on their return home.

If you're interested, and want to indulge your inner Daisy Duke, there's more details here:

I don't know whether to be patronised or pleased. John Lewis is introducing a limited number  of size 14 mannequins into just one of its regional stores later this year. At first, when you read the headline about size 14 mannequins being used in John Lewis, you think, "Great!" but then when you realise how rare they are going to be (hen's teeth?) it makes you wonder why they are bothering.

According to the Daily Mail, "It follows the company's ground-breaking decision to challenge conventional images of beauty by using a size 12 model to front its high-profile swimwear campaign."

GROUNDBREAKING?

No. Groundbreaking would be using a size 16, or 18, or 20 in a shop window. Even the Evans models just look like a size 14/16 with the clothes pinned back to fit. I may be wrong but I don't think I've seen many plus size women in high street windows. Simply Be use bigger models in their catalogue, and you should see my husband when it arrives, he's straight in there sizing up the lingerie collection.

"Spokesman Mark Forsyth told the Daily Mail's sister paper, the Evening Standard: "We will be introducing a small number of size 14 mannequins into our Peterborough store at the end of this month.

"We're going to trial them to see how our customers respond to them and how they work in the visual landscape."

If the trial is a success the mannequins could be rolled-out across the company's other stores. But Mr Forsyth stressed they would not replace the company's more conventional army of size 10 dummies."

Call me a sarcastic old bag, but when we get to the stage where shoppers are 'responding' to dummies, we are in big trouble. Have you ever felt moved to stride into the manager's office in Debenhams and have a go at her about the size of the shop dummies? No, funny that. How do you respond to a mannequin? Will they do a pointless survey where people just tick the box and hurry off to get their Starbucks fix?

At the same time, Jen Hunter, who won the Make me a supermodel competition despite being a hugely fat size 12, has quit the agency she won the contract with and gone to a plus-size agency. Apparently she'd had enough of catwalk knockbacks. I don't know about you, but most *real* plus size girls would love to be able to wear a size 12, and here we have the fashion industry rejecting the stunning Jen Hunter for being too big. Where, exactly, is this woman too big?

.

A spokeswoman for eating disorder charity Beat said: "We are very sad to hear that Jen Hunter feels she can't succeed in the mainstream fashion industry.  This shows that there is still a lot of work to be done. It is only through the fashion industry acting as a whole, from designer to retailer, that changes will be made."

Yeah. And the day that happens, the Devil is going to be needing some very warm clothes....

Well, it's no good having fabulous, gorgeous clothes on, if you've got the wrong bra size on and your cup runneth over....four boobs is so not a good look and there's no excuse for it with all the damn fine underwear that you can get to accommodate your womanly curves these days.

Bravissimo I'm going to single out for two reasons though.

1. They are bloody expensive
2. They make a big deal about selling bras up to 'Oooooh Matron' size but their knicks only go up to a size 16. What's all that about?

Oh no, sorry, apologies. They do make this in a size 18.

Don't overdo it! It's as if the whole range was designed by people with fake boobs who haven't worked out that if you have a big set of boobs, the chances are you will have a matching big backside. In fact, being as there are so many pear-shaped women, it's actually quite a bizarre marketing ploy, to offer women bras the size of two large hammocks but no pants to match. The Bravissimo woman is, therefore, eternally condemned to the hell that is mis-matched lingerie. To me, though, it says "Big boobs are allowed, but you can't be fat!"

Anyway, no such prejudice in the gorgeous collections on Simply Yours. Styles on there go up to a curvelicious size 32, so no embarassing pant catastrophes. They do a sexy range of basques and corsets too, so you can spice up your love life - or just keep the fact that you've got naughty undies on as your own little secret when you go to work, if that's what gets your pulse racing. I'll let you in on a secret....I have got last season's version of this one  

Another good place to find lingerie especailly designed for those who are well endowed in front and to some extent the rear, is Uplifted Lingerie.com

Their sizing is a bit complicated, and annoyingly there is no sizing guide. Would you know what 4XL meant? Four extra large butt cheeks? Hmmm, I'm not so sure. They have some very nice bras on there but for a site that claims to offer your curves the support they deserve, I'm a bit put off by the fact that they don't give any sizing advice at all. I'm intrigued by this though:

It's a 'waist nipper' and looks incredibly uncomfortable...it's available in small (because small people obviously need all the help they can get) medium, large and XL...whatever that is...answers on a postcard to....

I prefer the corset. It must be impossible to feel feminine with a tubigrip around your middle, one bite of a salad roll and you'll wish you'd left it at home...especially if you're like me and try and get away with a size down, "because it will pull it all in a bit more."

No, it just constricts my breathing, makes me want to lie down flat and gives me trapped wind which is never good in polite company!

I know I'm being a bit mean about Uplifted - I mean there is some lovely underwear on there and I could be tempted, even though I'd have no idea what size knickers to get...but I have to add this just to emphasise the point about big boobs, small everywhere else. look, I know she's in a corset. I know that, But I just-can't-avert-my-eyes-from-that-boobage!!!!

I suspect that may well be the idea....

And a mention should go to Anne Summers. Once the preserve of tacky nurse's outfits, edible undies and nasty crotchelss red numbers, the housewive's favourite has gone all upmarket and sexy. Probably because the sales of the Rampant Rabbit (which I still insist on calling the Jessica Rabbit) have meant they can afford to splash out on more luxurious fabrics.

Check out this gorgeous set - which comes in sizes up to 18/20....you don't have to be skinny to be sexy, so work it in sexy frillies and feminine undies...even if nobody knows but you...

Famous for designing the wedding dress that launched a million meringues, when Diana Spencer married Prince Charles, David Emanuel has turned his hand to more suburban pursuits and come up with an affordable collection for Bonmarche.

According to the Irish Mail this weekend, obesity is going to with us for at least three generations.

Well, pardon me for pointing out the obvious, but haven't there always been fat people? Or do you only become 'obese' when the Daily Mail prints a picture of you with your muffin top over your jeans?

The report said:

"Obesity  is going to be hard to shift and will affect Ireland for at least the next three generations, a food expert warned yesterday.

And if a solution was found tomorrow it would still take 35 years to halve the problem.

Michael Gibney, a professor of Food Health, told the annual conference of the Agricultural Science Association that not enough is being done for those affected.

The condition has a worse five-year cure rate than most cancers.  And for those that do seek help and are "cured" the relapse rate is 95 per cent, with only five in every hundred never having problems with weight gain again."

So, as far as I'm concerned that proves two points.

1. We curvy girls are here to stay, so you'd better start making nice clothes for us!
2. The *cure* which is dieting, is obviously a bit rubbish, therefore we need to look at *why* people are overeating instead of trying to push useless 'eating plans' and diets onto them ad nauseum.

If you want to beat the over eating that causes weight gain in the first place, the best thing to do is stop dieting and start eating. One good resource for anyone who wants to nail their over eating is The Food Philosophy. More about that later...

Harrods opens its Little Black Dress exhibition today as part of its ongoing Timeless Luxury initiative.

Paying tribute to the iconic fashion staple that we all have stashed at the back of the wardrobe - the LBD, the exhibition looks at the little black number, and how it has developed over the decades. The first LBD came courtesy of Coco Chanel in 1926, when she designed a cute black party dress, a colour previously saved for sombre occasions. Now we all have one!

Featuring designs by Chloé, Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, Oscar de la Renta and Vivienne Westwood, and images of celebrities such as Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, Catherine Deneuve and Marilyn Monroe wearing their LBD, the exhibition also showcases famous archive pieces, including a Givenchy dress worn by Audrey Hepburn, and the infamous Versace safety-pin dress worn by Elizabeth Hurley.

To mark the exhibition Harrods and Versace is offering customers the chance to have a version of the safety-pin dress made to order during the Timeless Luxury promotion. The exhibition runs until October 20 so get yourself down to Harrods and marvel at the wonder of the LBD.

Meanwhile, if you hanker after one of your own, Harrods' own plus size collection is really quite pitiful. But how about this absolutely gorgeous evening dress with sheer scoop neckline & flattering ruching from Curvety.com?

Or if you want to go a bit longer, you could do worse than this super-glam beaded dress by Anna Scholz at Simply Be.

Who needs Harrods, anyway?

Uh, well, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But apparently, there have been some pretty substantial surveys that have proved otherwise. Don't tell Rosemary Conley, she'll bake you in a low-fat puff pastry case and cook you until you're flavourless...

An investigation into weight and life expectancy in Norway, in 1984, blew the whole "all fat people die young" theory out of the water.
It was carried out on a sample of 1.8 million Norweigans, and is probably one of the most widely reported population studies. It showed that apart from the very thin and the very obese, there wasn't really much in it.

Put another way, if you were five feet six, your chances of living to the age of sixty five were:

7st 12 - 73%
8st 10 - 82.4%
16st -    84.4%
20st -    75.7%

OK, I don't have the figures to hand for the bit in the middle. But as 8st 10 is around the ideal weight, for a woman of that height it goes to show that you don't have to be your ideal weight to make it past the age of 65. In fact you have more chance of getting your bus pass (in Norway, anyway) if you are over 16 stone than if you are the ideal weight for a woman of my height.

If that's not an excuse to have a biscuit, I don't know what is...

MangoWatch strikes again.

I have managed to find an item in a size 18! Break out the Bolly, girls, the vast range of high fashion Mango clothes is now available to women of all sizes, apparently. Well, a minute amount of it is, anyway.

Checking out the website today, I found this skirt.

Now, OK, I don't need it to be pointed out that the model here is as far from a size 18 as I am from ever fitting into anything Victoria Beckham totters around in. However, I have to be nice and say it's a start. Well, it is. I suppose.

On further inspection, the 'Why Not' catalogue range does seem to include size 16 and 18 items. Basically, the items Liz Jones described a couple of weeks ago are there. I found a black jacket that went up to an 18 - although the rest of the range went as far as XL which their size guide says is a 14. XXL is a 16 and there were scant few of those.

If that's REALLY the best they can do, to be honest I wouldn't have bothered with the press release and big media show of saying they want their clothes to be accessible to all women. Plainly they are restricting the 'plus sizes' drastically, and there really isn't much choice that I can see. I'm quite happy for anyone from Mango to prove me wrong!

I don't know what it is about the words 'family wedding' that bring most chubster girls out in hives. Especially when the word 'bridesmaid' is added into the mix. I mean, when you decide to get married, you have the choice of a full on, everybody watching event, with a big old meringue...or a quiet ceremony with select family and friends and an elegant dress. In other words...you choose. And that's great!

But when you hear the words, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" (well, technically it was matron of honour but that just makes me think of Hattie Jacques so I'm sticking with bridesmaid...) you are totally at the mercy of the bride-to-be. It conjures up two very distinct and opposing emotions.

1. Fantastic, I'm really flattered, and of course I'd love to be your bridesmaid...
2. Oh shit, I'm going to have to wear a bridesmaid's dress. Pass the phone number for Weight Watchers and hide the pizza delivery leaflet!

So I've spent best part of a year excitedly looking forward to the day my little sister, who I'm told I boasted to all my classmates was, "my little princess" when she was a newborn, married her boyfriend of five years. I really was looking forward to seeing all my family, who are spread across the globe in England, Australia and South Africa. And I love a good wedding. It was always going to be fun.

The happy event took place at the weekend, hence the lack of any blog posts since Friday. And I had a fantastic time. The bride looked adorable, the happy couple looked, well, happy. And there I was, smiling for the camera and hoping that nobody noticed me. Which was highly unlikely in a forest green dress the size of the average marquee. Eeek! There was very little that anyone would have been able to do to make a bridesmaid's dress flatter my curvaceousness, so I just made up for the fact that I looked like a Leylandii (that was from my husband, thank you darling) by being the life and soul and having a damn good time.

There's nothing like a bridesmaids outfit and a hundred grinning wedding photos (oh no, the photos) for stressing out your inner fat girl. But hey, I had a great time! And here's a picture...

Unless my fashion calendar is out, I believe that London Fashion Week will be upon us in less than 48 hours. I found the Mango website, and I found a beautiful dress:

It does, indeed, come in XL.

But that's a size 14 to us mere mortals. *sigh*

Mango, we're watching you!

Have you seen the pictures of our Charl in Cosmo this month? She looks really gorgeous. The cover line is "Why I feel sexy when I'm big" so naturally I was intrigued. Charlotte is one of those celebs who always seems to get slated for being fat when she clearly isn't, and I give her full marks for resisting the urge to diet into a size zero just to keep the tabloid bitches at bay.

We can expect more of the same when Baby Church is born (or is that Baby Henson? Or Baby Henson-Church?)

She says, "I refuse to pressure myself, whether it's looking like a yummy mummy and dieting into a pair of size six jeans like Victoria Beckham, or rushing up the aisle to get married."

Go, Charl! When you've just given birth, do you really want to be worrying about juice diets, wedding dresses and gym visits A La Jordan (oh, sorry, Katie Price, she who is now whingeing that she doesn't feel sexy because she's married with kids, and boasting about having her, ahem, undercarriage tightened...)

She goes on to say that she doesn't know how the A-List (or even the Katie P list) manage to carry on with their extreme lives.

"We're definitely not like Katie Price and Peter Andre" she says of her relationship with Gavin. "I don't have the energy" She then goes on to say, "I don't think I could have chosen a life like that. I'm the same age as Lindsay Lohan and could have stayed in America and done the celebrity thing, but I look at those people and think, however thin they are or whatever amazing clothes they are wearing, they all look so unhappy and lost."

Bless her. What a sweetie. We all know she's had her share of tabloid crap thrown at her, and been off the rails and on the vodka. But sometimes I think we forget that Charlotte is only 21, because she's been around in the national consciousness for such a long time. I certainly had my share of hangovers and dud boyfriends by the age of 21, I'm just not rich or famous enough to get papped staggering out of a club at 2am looking 'tired and emotional...'

Anyway...good on ya, Charlotte. It's good to see a celeb with her feet - and ego - on the ground. I'm sure she'll make a yummy mummy whatever her weight after the birth!

Beth Ditto, she of the big mouth and a fine set of lungs, has said what I've been thinking for a while about the ubiquitous size zero.

She's launched a campaign to have it banned. No, not the physical proportions, but the term. Beth insists that the equivalent of a UK size four - encourages women to aspire to be "nothing".

She told Annie Mac's Radio 1 show: "It "It’s so obvious but so deep about our culture and what (it) says about women and their worth in their world (that) to be a size zero... is your ultimate goal.

"The biggest thing in your world is to be a nothing. That is so intense… how about getting rid of zero at all and putting a number onto it instead, even if it’s a small number?"

It's true, though, isn't it? Women are encouraged to take up as little space as physically possible, and whittle themselves down so as not to take up too much room. Men, on the other hand are described as being, "The BIG cheese" or, "The BIG I am" and tacitly allowed to get bigger than their female counterparts. How many businessmen with paunches do you see or know? It's fine for a company director to sport a gut - if he's male. "This is all bought and paid for," they say with a grin.

But the image of a female MD doesn't contemplate any excess flesh. No, if you're female you have to be thin to get on. Or apologetic about your obvious lack of self control. No matter if you have an iron will, business brain and the ability to do your job better than any man could - if you've got a fat arse it just doesn't look 'quite right' - it's a sign of failure as a woman to let yourself go to that extent. Can you imagine a female senior manager patting her rear end and fondly smiling about it being bought and paid for? Nope, neither can I. They'd be sending for men in white coats because she didn't display the required amount of self loathing for a fat woman...

Beth has a big mouth. But I do like her.