Queen Simply Be

Or perhaps - Daily Mail Watch Day Two.

Every other day, some lazy dullard of a Daily Mail writer takes a picture of a minor celebrity wearing a lovely dress and then replicates the picture with a model who is at least a size bigger and usually looking uncomfortable. The article is usually captioned with, "How a REAL woman looks in so-and-so's dress"

Why?

And what's with the 'Real Woman' nonsense? It invariably stirs up the entire female readership "So I'm not real because I'm a size ten and don't eat doughnuts all day" and the people with nothing better to do than speculate on the dress size of the model, "There's no way she is a size 12, she must be at least a 16."

Are celebrities all holograms or figments of our imagination then? How exactly do you think you qualify to become a 'real woman'?

Answers on a post card please....

Myleene Klass in a pretty frock - apparently she isn't *real*

Going to a spa is supposed to be an absolute treat. A relaxing, sensory experience that makes you feel pampered and cared for.

Paper Pants

But all too often, a spa or salon visit can be marred by the ignominy of having to strip off in front of a barely-out-of-her-teens, size ten therapist who clearly hasn’t seen what’s under a fat person’s robe before...and step into paper pants that feel like cheese wire. Not only that, but paper pants look absolutely ridiculous and believe me, when you’re a size 22, the only thing you can think about for the duration of a treatment is “please God, don’t make me cough.” Can you imagine the potential embarrassment factor of splitting your paper knickers mid bikini wax? Oh no, please never let that happen to me. One wrong move and the silly pants are toast...

So, with this in mind, and not to mention the ‘can’t quite get the robe done up’ or ‘towel? This is what you call a TOWEL?’ scenario, I went in search of fat-friendly havens of relaxation, places designed to make even the chubbiest among us feel like princesses for a day.

Wall of silence

The first thing I was met with was a wall of silence. I approached several well known spas direct, and the only one to come back to me straight away was Champneys. Now, I’ve been to Champneys myself, and although it was some time ago, I do remember enjoying the experience. I sampled the delights of Champneys at Tring, the ‘original' Champneys, and was pleasantly surprised that both my friend and I felt totally at home there. Neither of us are a size ten, and my friend admitted at the time that she’d entered the spa with some trepidation. I’d already been to several spas and knew the drill by then, but you still worry when you go to somewhere as swanky as Champneys that it’s going to be very exclusive and everyone is going to be thinner than you!

Sharon Scott, from Champneys, told me,

"Champneys are happy to welcome women of all sizes. We do have extra large robes, slippers and towels, and our therapists are used to dealing with women of every size and age.

“The paper pants are one size but they are designed to fit all. As you are probably aware they have elastic at the sides so the paper area is not designed to cover the whole area anyway.

“I believe many of our treatments would make any women feel good. The body treatments that make the skin feel soft are particularly good. We have a fabulous body treatment called Bed of Roses – this begins with a full body exfoliation followed by an application of body butter. While it’s being absorbed you relax and enjoy a massage of the feet and scalp, which will leave you feeling cleansed, nourished and soothed with the gentle fragrance of rose.”

Although experience would lead me to believe that the one size pants may just about fit all (but they certainly aren’t comfortable if you have a backside big enough for its own postcode) I’ll give Champneys the benefit of the doubt just for telling me about that gorgeous treatment!

What about the towels and robes?

Next to respond was Ragdale Hall, another popular and well-known spa, and the winner of the Professional Beauty Residential Spa of the Year 2008 award. Vicky Taylor told me that Ragdale positively encourages people of all sizes, and likes to think they are catered for. On the practical side, she assured me that not only does Ragdale offer variable sized paper knickers (so they do exist after all) but that their towels are all bath sheet size and they have robes suitable for all sizes too.

To make things even more welcoming, for people who really are what she described as ‘larger than average’ Ragdale have specially designed larger treatment couches, so that presumably the bigger clients don’t feel the need to cling on to the sides for dear life to avoid the horrible “I’m going to fall off this thing if I so much as move” feeling! Vicky added that Ragdale offers so many welcoming, pampering treatments that would make a larger lady feel amazing, she couldn’t pick just one.

“We like to provide a cosy, welcoming place for our visitors to enjoy, and we aren’t intimidating at all,” she told me. “Ragdale Hall is a very lovely environment...for everyone.”

Sensitive spa

Another spa that makes the grade when it comes to catering for curvy lasses is Eastthorpe Hall, not surprisingly another winner in the Professional Spa awards 2008. Sam Pearce, one of the partners at Eastthorpe waxed lyrical about what they offer larger people. According to Sam, a delighted Eastthorpe Hall client recently said that one of the things she loved about Eastthorpe Hall is that “it isn't run by 18 year old twigs!”
 
Eastthorpe believe that one of the reasons they have been winning awards is because of their sensitivity to clients of all shapes and sizes. One particularly favourable review was written recently by a journalist who hadn't undressed in front of anyone at all for the last 14 years and after realising how safe and secure she felt with her therapist (Nicola – the spa manager) she was relaxed and peaceful enough to have a treatment. Sam told me, “She is now a regular - and we can't keep her clothes on!”

She added, “we don't do one size fits all treatments here, because we just don't believe in them – and we even have ladies in cancer remission who are so relaxed here that they throw off their wigs and prosthetic boobs and throw caution to the wind!”
 
“Life would be so boring if everyone were the same, the stereotypical image of women in the media is totally unobtainable - we actually offer a treatment called Space - this treatment can be performed with the client fully dressed and the results are phenomenal - we have a Mongolian Yurt in the grounds that is just for you, totally private and just wonderful.  To us size isn't an issue and it never has been. We know that we make clients feel comfortable in their own skin, whatever shape, size, colour or orientation.”
 
Eastthorpe Hall goes as far as to say that the majority of their clientele are actually on the larger side – and as a last comment Sam added,

“No, scrap that - the majority of our clients are women who are normal!”
 
Champneys: http://www.champneys.com/
Ragdale Hall: http://www.ragdalehall.co.uk/
Eastthorpe Hall: http://www.eastthorpe.co.uk/

The top spas for curvy girls Going to a spa is supposed to be an absolute treat. A relaxing, sensory experience that makes you feel pampered and cared for. But all too often, a spa or salon visit can be marred by the ignominy of having to strip off in front of a barely-out-of-her-teens, size ten therapist who clearly hasn?t seen what?s under a fat person?s robe before...and step into paper pants that feel like cheese wire. Not only that, but paper pants look absolutely ridiculous and believe me, when you?re a size 22, the only thing you can think about for the duration of a treatment is ?please God, don?t make me cough.? Can you imagine the potential embarrassment factor of splitting your paper knickers mid bikini wax? Oh no, please never let that happen to me. One wrong move and the silly pants are toast... So, with this in mind, and not to mention the ?can?t quite get the robe done up? or ?towel? This is what you call a TOWEL?? scenario, I went in search of fat-friendly havens of relaxation, places designed to make even the chubbiest among us feel like princesses for a day. The first thing I was met with was a wall of silence. I approached several well known spas direct, and the only one to come back to me straight away was Champneys. Now, I?ve been to Champneys myself, and although it was some time ago, I do remember enjoying the experience. I sampled the delights of Champneys at Tring, the ?original Champneys, and was pleasantly surprised that both my friend and I felt totally at home there. Neither of us are a size ten, and my friend admitted at the time that she?d entered the spa with some trepidation. I?d already been to several spas and knew the drill by then, but you still worry when you go to somewhere as swanky as Champneys that it?s going to be very exclusive and everyone is going to be thinner than you! Sharon Scott, from Champneys, told me, ? Champneys are happy to welcome women of all sizes. We do have extra large robes, slippers and towels, and our therapists are used to dealing with women of every size and age. ?The paper pants are one size but they are designed to fit all. As you are probably aware they have elastic at the sides so the paper area is not designed to cover the whole area anyway. ?I believe many of our treatments would make any women feel good. The body treatments that make the skin feel soft are particularly good. We have a fabulous body treatment called Bed of Roses ? this begins with a full body exfoliation followed by an application of body butter. While it?s being absorbed you relax and enjoy a massage of the feet and scalp, which will leave you feeling cleansed, nourished and soothed with the gentle fragrance of rose.? Although experience would lead me to believe that the one size pants may just about fit all (but they certainly aren?t comfortable if you have a backside big enough for its own postcode) I?ll give Champneys the benefit of the doubt just for telling me about that gorgeous treatment! Next to respond was Ragdale Hall, another popular and well-known spa, and the winner of the Professional Beauty Residential Spa of the Year 2008 award. Vicky Taylor told me that Ragdale positively encourages people of all sizes, and likes to think they are catered for. On the practical side, she assured me that not only does Ragdale offer variable sized paper knickers (so they do exist after all) but that their towels are all bath sheet size and they have robes suitable for all sizes too. To make things even more welcoming, for people who really are what she described as ?larger than average? Ragdale have specially designed larger treatment couches, so that presumably the bigger clients don?t feel the need to cling on to the sides for dear life to avoid the horrible ?I?m going to fall off this thing if I so much as move? feeling! Vicky added that Ragdale offers so many welcoming, pampering treatments that would make a larger lady feel amazing, she couldn?t pick just one. ?We like to provide a cosy, welcoming place for our visitors to enjoy, and we aren?t intimidating at all,? she told me. ?Ragdale Hall is a very lovely environment...for everyone.? Another spa that makes the grade when it comes to catering for curvy lasses is Eastthorpe Hall, not surprisingly another winner in the Professional Spa awards this year. Sam Pearce, one of the partners at Eastthorpe waxed lyrical about what they offer larger people. According to Sam, a delighted Eastthorpe Hall client recently said that one of the things she loved about Eastthorpe Hall is that ?it isn't run by 18 year old twigs!? Eastthorpe believe that one of the reasons they have been winning awards is because of their sensitivity to clients of all shapes and sizes. One particularly favourable review was written recently by a journalist who hadn't undressed in front of anyone at all for the last 14 years and after realising how safe and secure she felt with her therapist (Nicola ? the spa manager) she was relaxed and peaceful enough to have a treatment. Sam told me ?She is now a regular - and we can't keep her clothes on!? She added, ?we don't do one size fits all treatments here, because we just don't believe in them ? and we even have ladies in cancer remission who are so relaxed here that they throw off their wigs and prosthetic boobs and throw caution to the wind!? ?Life would be so boring if everyone were the same, the stereotypical image of women in the media is totally unobtainable - we actually offer a treatment called Space - this treatment can be performed with the client fully dressed and the results are phenomenal - we have a Mongolian Yurt in the grounds that is just for you, totally private and just wonderful. To us size isn't an issue and it never has been. We know that we make clients feel comfortable in their own skin, whatever shape, size, colour or orientation.? Eastthorpe Hall goes as far as to say that the majority of their clientele are actually on the larger side ? and as a last comment Sam added, ?No, scrap that - the majority of our clients are women who are normal!? Champneys: http://www.champneys.com/ Ragdale Hall: http://www.ragdalehall.co.uk/ Eastthorpe Hall: http://www.eastthorpe.co.uk/

There, I said it. If you'd told me a couple of years ago that I'd even own a pair of leggings, let alone find myself extolling the virtues of said eighties throwbacks on a publicly accessible forum, I would have been mildly insulted. But now I'm hooked.

It's not just leggings either. Search the Dorothy Perkins site and you'll find many variations on a theme. Jeggings (leggings that look like jeans) and Treggings (leggings that, you guessed it, look like trousers) being a couple of them.

If you look at the Simply Be website there's a legging for all occasions, my personal favourites being the leggings with gold buttons on the ankles, because for some reason they are a thicker material than standard leggings and you don't get the horrid 'see skin through stretchy material' problem. If you're especially brave you can opt for shiny and lacy leggings too. Plenty of skin showing through the lacy ones but at least you know that it's meant to.

Evans has quite possibly got my favourite leggings though. Leggings with a diamante trim. Oh yes, I think I'm-a-gonna have to bag me a pair of those ready for Christmas parties. These totally and utterly appeal to my girly love of all things shiny and I *want* them.

Leggings and T-shirts were the staple housework uniform of the 1990s but I also remember wearing them to work with longline jackets and HIDEOUS popper-crotch bodies that were ubiquitous in the early 90s. I also had my mum in stitches yesterday telling her about how I wore one on a girls' night out to the classy establishment that was once called Hollywood's in Ipswich.

I was decked out in a long flowing skirt, black body and a sheer blouse over the top. I shudder at the thought of that ensemble but that's not the point. So I was a little bit under the influence and dancing on a podium with a random strange man, when I felt that feeling of dread as one by one all the poppers gave way in response to my energetic podium gyrations. Ahhhh, what the hell. I reasoned that I could get away with hopping down onto the dance floor and secreting myself in a dark corner, then surreptitiously reaching under the long skirt and doing them up. If I walked across to the ladies' the damn thing was only going to end up bunching up around my waist and I'd have to queue for ages.

Trouble was, I didn't do the surreptitious bit very well and the story of my indiscreet wardrobe malfunction still gets relayed to this day.

So, leggings = Yes. Bodies = "Never again in this lifetime sweetheart..."

I've been a fan of Anna Scholz for a while now. She's always seemed to me to want to make clothes that flatter and inspire bigger women, and I've hankered after owning one of her designs for a while.

I'm so disappointed with her latest offerings though.

Kaftans? Get outta here!

And would you get a look at those colours and patterns. It's like Evans circa 1989.

To be fair, I think Anna is trying to channel a bit of a late sixties/early seventies hippy vibe. But I'm not buying it - quite literally not buying it. It's just *too much* I'm afraid. I'm not one of those lemon faced fashion editors who thinks that fat people should wear black and stay out of sight wherever possible...if you want to wear funky prints and neon brights then you go for it, sister. But I just don't think the collection is (a) flattering or (b) attractive.

Am I being unfair? What do you think?

Look Book Autumn 2009

...well only throughout Suffolk, but since when has that been the point? I was called yesterday by Radio Suffolk, who wanted to feature the Mark Fast London Fashion Week story from the point of view of someone who thought bigger models was something we should be pleased about.

Of course, I jumped at the chance like a little terrier, and this morning I got to say my piece about the whole thing. Of course I made the point that there was an element of PR involved, with the Walks Beyond the Catwalk exhibition only opening on 18th September. But I also tried to push the point that the catwalk wasn't really a place where we should expect to see a sea change in model sizes. Catwalks, my lovelies, aren't even meant for people who shop in Next or Monsoon. They are a back slapping, self congratulatory luvvie fest designed for fashion editors and the in-crowd to "Oooooh" and "Aaaaah" about an inappropriate creation that doesn't even look good on a size 00 Albanian teenager.

Don't get me wong, I love the catwalk shows. I love 'Project Runway' and I pore over Grazia every week even though it annoys the crap out of me. But much as I applaud what happened with the size 14 models this week, I'm not under any illusions that we're about to be swamped by Beth Ditto-alikes, bursting lusciously from domino print dresses and strutting their wobbly bits like they mean business.

It's in the interest of the fashion industry to stay elitist. The people at the 'everyday' end of the market will cater for the curvy girls, because they know they have to diversify to stay afloat. As the models get skinnier, the people buying the clothes are getting bigger and the High Street needs to reflect the needs of its customers. But London Fashion Week isn't about Top Shop and Dorothy Perkins. It's about showing off. It's about 'the collection' that might be picked up by Harvey Nicks or Harrods but most of us will only see on the pages of the supplements dedicated to telling us what's 'in' and 'out' next season. So while we might see the occasional model with a discernible shape, I genuinely don't believe for a minute that introducing size 12 and 14 models is going to become the norm. Wouldn't it be fab if it was though?

The Interview:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/radio/bbc_radio_suffolk/  (James Hazell, 22 September. I'm first on at 9:40)

I love the Daily Mail, in a kind of horrified can't-help-myself kinda way. I can't resist reading it online for the bitchy comments, whether it's the 'I'm only writing this because it's what our readers expect' vinegar that's poured on anyone too old, wrinkled, unmade up or fat....or the completely vacuous, uneducated and often parrot-fashion comments added by readers who have been indoctrinated by said scandal rag into thinking everyone that isn't like THEM is automatically A.Bad.Person and should probably be banned.

Reading their celebrity updates and reader comments is a bit like watching 'What Katie Did Next'. You know it's bad for you. You know you shouldn't do it. You know that it's probably going to make you really cross. But you do it anyway.

I thought I'd take my obsession with scowling at the Daily Mail Online and use it for my own entertainment, and hopefully yours. I need to keep this blog updated and I'll get plenty of material from the DM. So, today's best articles and comments:

Mark Fast

The Mail's take on the drama surrounding Canadian designer Mark using three enormous size 12-14 models on the catwalk at London Fashion Week was surprisingly subdued. It's a Sunday though, so the chances are a lot of the reader comments haven't got through yet, but nowhere were the models described as 'fat' in the article (well, come on, how could they be?) although they did use inverted commas for the words 'normal sized' about the girls. Ahhh well, maybe they were sensing a bit of a bandwagon to jump on - and given Alexandra Shulman's recent request for bigger sample sizes for photo shoots, they might be backing off where size 12 and 14 women are concerned.

The best comment so far is:

"I don't blame the stylist at all. Nice clothes, but this is London Fashion Week, not Butlins and modelling should be left to the pros. I wouldn't consider these girls 'curvy' in the traditional sense - without a waist on any of them, i think 'round' would be a better description. They look like they've been cast from Supermarket Sweep."

Yesterday they were having their usual digs at Natalie Cassidy for daring to go out in anything except a reinforced tent,"Natalie Cassidy prepares for her big night... let's hope her outfit is more flattering than yesterday" but they'll be reserving their most poisonous comments for next week when Nat makes her full Strictly Come Dancing debut...

So, you thought body con was just for the size zeroes among us, and that no designer worth their credentials would ever put a woman with a bum in one of their less forgiving designs? Well, think again girlfriend, Mark Fast has been causing a ruckus at London Fashion Week by daring to mix it up a bit and use 'plus size' models in his catwalk shows, filling out the skin tight dresses in a way that a faceless Eastern European teenager could only dream of.

He paraded his collection on a selection of models that did include the stereotype half starved looking models but then exploded three curvaceous size 12 and 14 girls onto the catwalk, proudly strutting their feminine form in totally unforgiving body con creations that left some of the fashion faithful steaming in disgust that he'd actually dared to use bigger women to show off dresses that, let's face it, look better with something to cling to.

His stylist, obviously more used to dealing with unchallenging shapes, had a diva strop and left stylist Daniela Agnelli and casting director Natalie Hubbard to take over.

Amanda May, managing director for the Canadian designer, said there had been "creative differences" with regards to the casting of the three larger models. But she added, "We wanted women to know they don't have to be a size zero to wear a Mark Fast dress - curvier women can look even better in one."

What do you think?

 

 

I know I probably shouldn't admit to it, being the sassy, sorted thirty something that I undoubtedly am, but I couldn't help but be just a little bit happy that Renee Zellwegger will be donning the big pants (and presumably about three stone in weight) again to reprise the part of everyone's favourite neurotic chubby singleton, Bridget Jones.

I think I love Bridget just for the line in The Edge of Reason about spending her time with two men following her break up from Mark D'arcy - one called Ben and one called Jerry! Not to mention the fact that every film has Colin Firth in it, in a wet shirt, so who's complaining!?

The debate over whether it's healthy for Renee to chubb up every time she plays Bridget will no doubt be played out again and again in the media between now and the end of next year, when the next instalment is due to start fliming. But actresses LOSE weight to play movie roles all of the time and nobody bats an eyelid.

Anyway, it's not just me, is it? I know most of my male friends seem to think that voluptuous Bridget, even in her granny pants, is way sexier than competitive-dieting Renee. What do you think?

You might still be wearing your flip flops and sipping Pimms but it won’t be long until London Fashion Week gets all of the fashion editors excited about what’s hot for spring - and the release of the autumn collections on the high street.

Trends for Autumn 09 include the one that we’ve all been trying to avoid – or is that just me – the eighties shoulder pad revival. They pad appeared in all its dramatic glory in a lot of the catwalk collections for autumn 09, and there’s no escaping its influence.

It’s not just about the eighties though – look out for classic sixties influenced tailoring – apparently trouser suits are a hot fashion trend and the classic Audrey Hepburn dress looks set to replace the garish prom dress. The Oli fitted black stretch satin dress (£44) channels Audrey perfectly and is available up to a size 22. And this cute little corset dress (£45) is available up to a size 20. All you need is a nameless cat and a tiara..

http://www.oli.co.uk/Web/main/home.asp?N=0

Tip: When you’re shopping with Oli, use their ‘shop by size’ feature, to find clothes in a size 18, 20 and 22.

I’ve even spotted an Azzdine Alaia inspired body con skirt and corset top in Caryn Franklin’s Simply Be collection - and Evans are currently selling this season’s tulip skirts in hot pink. I love body con...not so sure it’s forgiving of those with chunkier thighs but hats off to any Just as Beautiful stylista with the guts to don the bright pink Evans tulip skirt.

Velvets and luxe fabrics will be a massive hit as the nights draw in – stuff the dreary economic climate and wrap yourself in something that feels good and looks opulent. Check out the fabulous ‘Billion Dollar Babes’ collection for City Chic at http://www.citychiconline.com/DRESSES-c11.aspx if you want to add some glamour to your wardrobe – the purple chiffon is to die for and purple is another trend to look out for in coming months.

Summer Sales...

The current gossip is that this year’s summer sales are likely to be spectacular, so get in there if you’ve booked a late holiday somewhere warm, and make sure you snap up some of the more stunning summer finds before they’ve all gone.

Autumn Previews

Simply Be previewed their autumn collection in June and it’s a cracker. I’m a real fan of Joe Brown at Simply Be, I love the slouchy jeans and cosy touchy feely jumpers, and the autumn collection is no disappointment. The boho look from the early noughties seems to have returned with a fabulous ‘Autumn Skirt’ (£40) and the Essential Skirt (£45). Both of these add a touch of gypsy chic to your wardrobe and teamed with the gorgeous beaded top (£50) they’ll see you through a rainy September in style. My advice to anyone buying from Simply Be is get in quick – most of the funkiest, on trend pieces sell out in the most popular sizes really fast.

iStylista

I thought I would try the new iStylista website, as it looked fun and – well it was rude not to. I duly logged my details and gave them my email address so that they could spam me until the end of time. When I logged in, I was a little over excited to see that the size options went up to a 28. Fantastic. The idea of the site is that you tell them a bit about you, and the site recommends lovely things that will suit your shape, size, colouring and budget. I lied and told them I could spend up to £300 a month of clothes, and I sat back to wait for all my recommended outfits.

The first item that came up was a Sass and Bide dress. Now, I wasn’t 100% sure but I didn’t think that Sass and Bide did plus sizes. Intrigued, I clicked on the cute dress and found that it was available in up to a size 12. Totally and utterly pointless, then? The inoffensive ‘lives not knives’ T-shirt which was apparently suitable for my age group was ‘one size only’ (because we’re all one size, clearly) and the jersey halter neck top was only available in a 10. At this point, I got bored of iStylista. The idea is great but if you’re a plus size, finding anything that you can actually wear is going to be a thankless task!

www.istylista.co.uk

A much better bet if you’re plus size is the really useful know my size - http://www.knowmysize.net/
This site does a quick trawl of all the high street retailers and tells you what’s available in your size (up to a 22) and then puts them all into nice neat little categories. So In a size 22, under party wear/dresses there are quite literally pages and pages of gorgeous party frocks that all come in a size 22. I could have spent hours browsing, and spent an absolute fortune. So it’s thumbs down to iStylista, and a massive thumbs up for Know my Size...